


You are my favorite kind of lie

by Faraheim



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Genderfluid Character, Lady Loki, Minor Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Multi, Pre-Thor (2011), almost human Loki, christine/loki is very much short and not even there i promise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2020-10-17 11:16:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20620139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Faraheim/pseuds/Faraheim
Summary: Loki, slow in the way dreams move and fast as if it was always there, morphed. Her face sharper and her body slimmer, her sky eyes turned green. This new face was indeed more himself-herself. The blond hair remained for a minute until she changed it to black.Black like your heart Loki and black as the hole you fell fromshe thinks, humorlessly.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Loki falls as he always does but this time is long before the bitter poison makes it to his heart, still, Odin is too wearied and he deals with the problem like he always does.

The king stands before him surrounded by the gold of the teleportation chamber, his face is wistful and Loki expects a fine talk down. There’s silence all around the gate to the other worlds and Loki feels the weight of his misdeeds with every passing second.

Odin looks weary and old. Older than he should look. It's been long since he has fallen to the Odinsleep and Loki has played his cards in a moment of anger, what does intelligence mean when sentiment overtakes one's mind?

By the look in his father's eyes, the cards do not favor Loki. He stands by his conviction but he fears the odd shine in the Allfather’s gaze.

His King breathes and Gungnir hits the gold floor, lightning explodes its magic power mighty and encasing. “I cast you out Loki-” his father starts slow but intent, voice growing too loud inside the observatory for the booming carries as an earthquake “for the only punishment you will understand is to be exiled,” his brow falls for a second, a microscopic amount that only Loki recognizes as sorrow mixed with disappointment. 

It arrived Loki thinks and he can feel tears filling his eyes, while his hands tremble. The moment of no return. The moment Odin finally states what he thought all along of his second son. Loki feels vindicated and glad that it's here _finally but_ he also knows that he can't fight for a place in his family no longer. He feels as weary as Odin looks. 

“I take from you, your magic” the King’s power hits inside his body like a tide, burning- burrowing like sickness and Loki shakes with the need to cry out. He doesn't but the tears fall unbidden. “I bind you from your spells and your titles which you no longer deserve” the old King breathes pained. His voice ringing.

Loki is speechless he can’t move. The Allfather looks him in the eye, no feeling reflected “father-” Loki retorts, scared for the first time. He always makes a deal, can cut through punishment like a hot knife in butter but the King ignores him. Loki is nothing without his magics and Odin has uttered it, _exile._ What is Loki to do in these realms but die like a poisonous snake without protection?

“You have betrayed your brother for the last time, betrayed your King and the peace of our people. Loki Silvertongue, You can't stop thunder once it reaches the clouds” his voice breaks with the foreboding words but the King turns his back “I Odin Allfather _ cast you out _ to the realm forgotten.” and a great gust of wind from the Bifrost sucks Loki into the light vortex, the light reflects his tear tracks. The colors of the gate washing the gold from Asgard into a multicolor tempest.

and then he's falling.

**-**

Loki learned many things from his stay at Midgard. Most were difficult to swallow and inconceivable. Nothing quite abrasive just different in ways he wouldn’t like other nobles to know about... when he cared about that. He learned quickly to acclimate and found himself enjoying this world.

True he was a prince and he had certain standards but nobody else knew that and debasing himself he did. No magic to pave the way, he had to find a way to survive. It didn't take long to learn that he could still shapeshift which was a comical story altogether and a much-needed blessing. _ Look and marvel at the prince of Asgard- the exiled prince, a common floozy. A nobody in a skimpy bikini _he thinks, as he sips his colorful alcoholic beverage while he keeps an eye on which man looks wealthier.

He had to be a woman to do it, easier. It’s true that a man can also be a commodity but men took a woman for what it meant, they got a leeway. Wealthy women made it complicated, make it about feelings and Loki just wanted money to coast through life with comfort.

A man looked at Loki over the pool and he returns the hot gaze, not too fast but with a small laugh to ensnare. 

“What’s your name, baby?” the man asks as he approaches him.

a slow smile, a coy look and slide a lock of shiny light hair behind the ear “my name?” Loki’s female voice says and meets the man halfway. Peering at the Baume & Mercier watch and the three thousand worth on designer rings in his left hand alone “I bet you really wanna know that.” the man chuckles “but for you I’m Lori.” 

_

Living with millionaire after billionaire for days, months or nights. Life was uncomplicated Loki would call it _fun_ even. Parties on Earth are different. The music too, everything was so freeing.

Soon the money and the elite life lost its shine. Loki didn’t own any of it, it was all granted to him, it felt like a chain. Be here look nice act like this and smile like that. Abrupt and much too soon smiling hurt. 

When he looked in the mirror he started to see a puppet with lips in shades of red. A stranger, nothing of this woman’s body was Loki nothing was for himself. Blond and filled with curves, eyes like the sky _a doll_. It looked too much like a piece from the family where he never fit and Loki didn't want to think much about what that meant. 

-

Loki tried to find ways to unbind his powers during his _off-hours_; with a somewhat steady income and more time to spend he had time to be in his own skin and research. He found some leads and artifacts but nothing strong enough. 

It was several months into his exile that Loki found something. Loki’s current boyfriend was into Nordic history and the Viking culture, it let Loki convince him into going to Norway for a trip. Sven (not his real name) went to the museum while Loki in his male form went off to search. While Odin bound his powers from him Loki could still feel and use magic if it was an outside source. He might no be a sorcerer but he still has his mind.

He walked towards where he found the source getting stronger, that itching feeling in his hands like sudden warmth on gelid hands. As he got closer he could have cried for the feeling of seiðr in the cold dirt, muted but greater than he had felt before. He didn’t think- he didn’t remember to go back and buy something to dig with. 

Loki grabbed his keys and started digging breaking the earth in chunks and then using his hands. He worked non stop not really feeling the cold and ignoring the blue tinge in his fingers a bit longer. He could feel it closer every time he removed more dirt and rocks from the hole.

At one point he found rock too hard for his keys and he cried in frustration, slamming his hands in anger onto the rock. His hair was a mess and dirt had smudged in his pale face but he couldn’t stop _now_. He was so close. “ _ dammit _.” he yelled over and over hitting the rock.

He inhaled and exhaled trying to calm down “Ok, go around it then.” 

Then Loki spent five feverish hours digging near water in the cold weather with his bare hands (it was good that it was July and not currently _that _freezing) around the rock that separated him from his finding.

When he finally found an opening it was late, the sun had long disappeared from the sky. His hand, at last, closed around the object and Loki could have sobbed when the warm feeling of old magic welcomed him. He had forgotten how it felt. As he was now he could only call himself a horrid Midgardian witch.

He palmed his phone and remembered discarding it with his jacket to the side so he climbed from the sizeable hole he had dug and scurried to the only source of light.

Finally after regaining feeling on his fingertips Loki rudimentary cleaned the dirt from the object and it was a little medallion engraved with protection runes in a folded circle, with some quick scrapes with the sharp end of one of his keys he reworked the charm into a stronger complex magical working.

He found a way to disappear from Heimdall’s eye. 

-

Jesse, the new man that paid the bills was an intelligent man. Came from the bottom with a clear head. To him, Loki was another car but prettier, just a way to fit in with all the rest of the wealth. 

So Loki lived and little by little saved some money. He tired of this lifestyle, Loki became restless and with that came boredom. There were opportunities open to him now. he had money and he had a way to stop depending on others, well until Jesse’s dealer gave him the contact he wanted.

Andre was _a chill dude_ according to most of Lori's female friends that frequented the mansion and Loki needed someone practical like him “Jesse’s good money and you don’t bring problems L" the dealer said with a look, holding the paper from Loki's outstretched hand. "so I can do this but it didn’t come from me, you hear?” once Loki nodded Andre took his money and left the time and place for the contact in a tiny piece of paper and Loki got himself the legal (somewhat) documents stating that Lorraine Keystone from Manchester had partial visa to the states which gave him free will to study. Jesse didn’t care but he paid for the courses he took.

And so Loki as Lorraine, Lori to few started as an assistant in Jesse's company while studying and attending to Jesse's _calls_ behind the closed door of his office.

Time passed quick. She learned everything possible and had a fancy diploma that let her work away from him.

Jesse didn't stop Lori because after that someone else was occupying Jesse's arm, younger than Lori. Blonder- a Laura or Lizzy then Kelsie, etc.

Only once in the end, the mask Jesse wore, slipped “I like you because you are smart Lorraine. Many in your place tried to tie me to them but I am no fool and the next one takes their place as soon as the claws start to sink. But _you _ ” he pointed with his tan finger “_you _have never even grabbed onto me.” his hazel eyes looked beyond her. “Yes, you are after my money and I bet you will never even cry when I let you go.” he scoffed “sometimes you look at me and it reminds me of my mother.” 

Loki stood there, tired and worried “You invested in yourself and you plan to leave,” this felt uncomfortably like a threat until Jesse continued “but I trust you. So hear me out, I’ve got some papers for you to sign” he reached a manila folder from the desk and passed it to Loki. It contained what looked like bank statements, accounts on Lori’s name. Loki pursed his lips “and then you can go and start your life. What do you think, Doll?” 

Loki knew what that meant but Loki also knew that anything in Jesse's name was going to be frozen someday (sooner rather than later. Loki liked to snoop around the office while Jesse snored after a quick _call_) and his company come under fire “I think I will take that deal” saving Jesse one day meant freedom now.

But this time, Loki thought. This time for me. 

Some days after saying goodbye in his dilapidated one-bedroom apartment Loki, slow in the way dreams move and fast as if it was always there, morphed. Her face sharper and her body slimmer, her sky eyes turned green. This new face was indeed more himself- _ herself. _The blond hair remained for a minute until she changed it. 

_ Black as your heart Loki and black as the hole you fell from _she thinks, humorlessly.

Already feeling better, feeling like her place in life was finally coming together. 

Not long after perhaps a year and some months Jesse went to Jail and part of the money he left in her care went to his bail, the lawyer and the rest to a house she rented out. 

Jesse saw Lorraine (the old Lorraine, blond and bright) to thank her and offer her more money. He had hidden away _things_ just in case with some friends. Always the smart man (who couldn't help but bite more than he could chew) and a place by his side but Loki just smiled sadly at him, kissed him on the lips and said goodbye one last time. Ignoring the way his hands clutched her _tight_, almost refusing to let her go.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't want to write 20k of Loki character exposition (maybe flashbacks in the next chapters?) so the chapters move fast. at least she meets Tony soon! as background I want to add that Loki is a genderfluid person right now she feels she's a woman. so since she abandoned her life and embraced her Lorraine Keystone identity, sometimes refers to herself as Lori (mostly when in reference to other people) and the rest of the time as Loki I made a moodboard on tumblr if anyone wants to check that out [moodboard](https://circamonsters.tumblr.com/post/188032907419/you-are-my-favorite-kind-of-lie-2-loki-slow-in)

Loki applied for the Stark Industries PA position while working for a startup tech company, it was a nice job but Loki knew she could do better.

Working there felt redundant, there was no high nor low, just a steady stream in the upcoming years, repetitive and dull. 

She wasn't going anywhere.

She woke up early every day. Made herself tea, ate toast with a dash of marmalade and later changed into a suit, she looked in the mirror her hands sliding delicately over the fabric until no wrinkle remained. Loki fixed her dark hair in a ponytail and fastened a nice watch on her wrist. The only jewelry was the pendant she found in Norway which she hid under her clothes and never took off, It hung from an enchanted black slim cord around her neck. 

Loki looked back at her two-bedroom apartment from her door after putting on her pointed toe loafers. 

Her house felt _ cold. _When she closed her apartment door it always took a second for Loki to move on to the elevator. Was she missing living with someone? 

Maybe she missed the noise. Missed talking to someone that replied and laughed at her jokes.

Every morning went just the same and whenever she went out to find a partner she got bored easily. if they stayed over in the morning she would escape the touches and send whoever on their way. Not like there weren't attractive and successful men around she just couldn't connect. 

Loki is not _ that _ alone, she still talks with some of the girls and once in a while a man from her not so distant past will remember her and _ hit her up. _ A lot of people find the change in her appearance shocking but quickly accept it. It’s good to have connections just in case. But none are too personal. 

She wasn't going to work all her life at a desk job right? What of her magic (the mediocre amount she got left, that is) that she frequently used for small things, there could be a way to recover everything, she needed time and money. She was somebody _ different _ how could she desire to stay? to be so _ common _?

So she aimed high and went for SI.

The day they called her to tell her she got accepted the relief was so big she nearly went boneless in the empty hallway. 

Her phone chimed in the middle of another meeting where her bosses (all under 27 with no knowledge of personal hygiene) talked about anything but where the company was headed and she excused herself when she saw the unknown number.

“Hello, is this Lorraine Keystone?” The woman on the other side asked once she picked up the call.

“yes, I’m Lorraine. What can I do for you?”

“Lorraine is nice to meet you. My name is Sandra. I was calling because you got to the next stage of our hiring process. We’d like to have a meeting in two hours if you can make it. We can reschedule but we are pressed for assistants right now.” Sandra said in good nature.

Loki looked back at the meeting room where one of her bosses was imitating an ape. She winced “Of course Sandra. I will be there.”

-

Still, it wasn't easy. She was new blood and everyone made her feel it. Stark Industries wasn't number one for nothing. Only the best remained and the rest got scrapped or went to work for the competition. Loki worked hard, worked twice as hard as her bosses _ that’s for sure _ and managed not to murder anyone from sheer luck. 

Lori consumed knowledge with the conviction of a hungry Bilgesnipe until she was the best and nobody could question her position nor importance. She climbed the ranks unconcerned of moral standing (according to the people she walked over) but if she did something they were not undeserving of the treatment. When she had the time she took several courses and went out with acquaintances.

In a matter of months, her work and name were recognized by many. Enough to be noticed by Stane a big, _ big _ name in the company.   


Five long years she felt, passed in such a short time. She had a new home and new suits, a job that made her ruthless. 

When she closed her door in the morning before work, the quiet got louder every year.

  
  


-

  


Working for Stane it’s a challenge. She fights head to head with different people for deals, for contracts. She does fantastic work for the company and the people around her know it too. When Stane travels she travels with him and she’s been in several meetings with Anthony Stark (when he doesn't send Ms. Potts).

When Lori started working for Mr. Stane, she miscalculated her move. Not like she could actually deny the position but she did not think it beyond the prestige and the alarming salary raise.

Stane at first glance is a candid man with the company at his back. He manages most of the problems Mr. Stark causes and does it with a smile. 

Loki used to smile like that in the shadow of her brother’s back. She knows jealousy and this smells like trouble. 

Humans are dangerous for her too, she can heal herself but if she’s not careful she can die. Humans are so fragile. _ Isn't she one of them now? _

Obadiah has very different goals in mind for the company and it seems she’s the only one noticing. That makes her a loose end if she moves out of turn.

It doesn't take much to notice what he’s doing, the meetings she is not allowed to attend, the phonecalls from overseas, especially the unauthorized business deals. There’s no way she couldn't notice. She's smart, the smartest. That's why she´s where she is and Stane counts on that. He wants her to make a move. 

Does he want the blame to fall on Lori? If he has, he’s got himself a nice scapegoat. Someone close and with the right clearance to do it. He’s got Stark under his thumb so it won't be hard to let him believe if things go south that it was her and not the family friend that did it.

She’s been collecting evidence since her suspicions started to grow and anytime Stane gets shifty she takes a picture of where she is and what he´s doing on her locked account, her friends like that she's more active on social media. Lori dates everything with fanatic accuracy, everywhere she goes anything she does is documented.

Loki also has a box with papers at her landlord’s apartment just in case. Stane might believe he has her cornered but if he does anything she’s covered. The blame if the FBI comes investigating will not fall on her.

Loki is cunning but that alone is not enough.

  


-

That’s why she manages to get into one of the house parties Stark throws and she pesters him for a while. Following him until he caves and turns to hear her. She doesn't say what she is on about. 

“Mr. Stark this is _ important information _ .” her voice is grim. “I fear this is a matter of life or death.” her eyes are firm on his, waiting for him to _ listen _.

“Honey,” he says voice dripping with sarcasm as he takes off his colored lenses “your strategy is _ old _.” in a flourish his lenses go into his breast pocket and he swallows his martini, “You think nobody tried that before?” Stark looks at the plunging neckline of her white dress “Well at least you’ve put on a nice dress.”

She makes a sad face and he mimics her expression adding a lot of exaggeration. She knew he wasn't going to hear her out. But she’s made an _ impression _. Stark is a simple man, give him a pretty body and a bit of skin. The dress was carefully picked. The plan was to get the files into his house, if he listened to her that would have been great but not part of her plans. If he doesn't throw them out she has her ass covered. If anything goes sideways she tried to come forward, it’s not on her that she wasn’t taken seriously. 

She hides her smile under a curtain of dark hair as one of the girls slides her hand on Stark’s inner thigh. Loki sees him drop the folder into the hands of his bodyguard. 

Lori _ knows _these girls. They’ve gone to parties together. Blonde Lori learned from girls like them. They can make a man forget his own name with the promise of a bit of fun.

Stark will forget any papers ever existed in a few hours.

-

“Ready for your trip?” Stane asks her that smile painted on his face, eyes crinkled like a good proud father as he stacks some folders on her desk.

“_ My _ trip?” Loki asks furrowing her brows.

“_ Man _, I forgot to mention it? You’re taking Tony to the Afghanistan presentation. Tomorrow. The big Jericho reveal, baby!”

Something cold settles in her veins. This is Jericho? The thing he’s been talking behind closed doors about? Then it clicks. Stark is going to be sent away. Stark rarely even attends meetings or expositions. He only does parties (his words) and awards (maybe if Rhodey is there) or a benefit gala. 

Stark likes building things and party, there’s not much to him in the way of a salesman for the things he builds, besides he has an awful taste in names.

  


She smiles tight. So this is it huh. “Stane, you know I like to be prepared!” she starts trying to come up with excuses. “And with Stark? This is going to be such a mess! I-”

“Lori, stop worrying.” Stane puts his hands on her shoulders “You have never made a mistake since I’ve known you. This is a piece of cake. You’ll do fantastic.”

She grits her teeth. She can't say anything else. “Of course. I’m the best.” 

Stane makes finger guns at her and leaves.

She’s in a dangerous game, but it gives her that rush that she hasn’t felt in such a long time. Loki missed the subterfuge, the scandal of court and traipsing through men that wanted to see Loki fail. It makes her smile darkly. 

She can have a bit of fun. Whenever Stane sends her a smirk like he knows her end is near. No escape? Loki has been running from her problems for millennia she fixes her odds and she corners people, not the other way around.

-

She reads over the first folder with the proposal and immediately calls Susan, one of her underlings that makes her life a living hell. 

“Susan, prepare your things for a trip. Stane told me we are going to Afghanistan.” Susan squeals something on the other side of the line. “I’ll have some folders for you to read and I’ll go over the project with you.”

There's no way Lorraine is getting on that plane.

The morning of the trip she prepares Susan as best as she can in the hours they have left, Loki fakes stomach pain in front of her and tells her she took some meds after throwing up.

She makes her bags and just in the last possible second she’s about to board the plane she clutches her stomach. Susan asks her if she’s okay. Lori hasn't been feeling so hot and Susan _ knows _ since Loki had complained about pain when she was cramming as much information into Susan’s head for the big presentation.

Susan will take this opportunity to shine if Lori doesn't go. So she will definitely-

“Give me your briefcase Lori. You’re in no shape to travel. Let me call an ambulance.”

Loki wants to laugh. She clutches the briefcase. “I think- _ I’m fine _Susan. This trip is important-” she whines and makes herself puke on Susan's suit. Susan wails in disgust.

In the bathroom a minute ago she drank two bottles of murky white pear juice. That she planned to projectile vomit.

Loki clutches her stomach and Susan yells for help.

Susan makes several phone calls while a man dressed in blue wearing a fluor colored vest attends to Lori.

“Lorraine. I called Mike and Andrea to meet you at the hospital. I have to go.” Susan says hurried, she takes Lori’s folders out of her briefcase. She opens Lori’s bag and takes the change of clothes and leaves Lori, while she speaks with Stane on the phone.

Susan boards the jet.

Lori’s phone rings next and it’s Stane. “Do you know if Mr. Stark has arrived?” Lori asks the man while she puts her phone on silent.

He sighs “Mr. Stark always boards at least an hour late. If you feel better I guess you can go. Colonel Rhodes is waiting.” she gives her thanks and let the man continue working.

Someone brings a doctor that was off duty at the airport, so he can tend to her.

When she’s vomited her guts out she tells the man that she doesn't think her stomach hurts anymore and that it probably was the hotdog she ate on the way. The man frowns and examines her stomach pushing his fingers into her abdomen and asking if she feels any pain when he lifts it. 

She doesn't. The doctor then asks her if she’s sexually active. Loki rolls her eyes. “Everything is fine, thank you, doctor. I will rest in my home.”

That _brute_ Susan took off with her clothes so she has to hitch a taxi with her ruined clothes, at least it’s only non-digested juice.

Lori calls Mike and tells him to forget the hospital, she's going home and that everything is fine. Stark’s jet hasn’t taken off yet. But she gets a cab home.

Stane keeps calling her.

-

Tony Stark goes missing.

“Are you okay, Lorraine?” Stane asks. As if she hasn't fucked all his plans. “I heard you got really sick, right before you got to the jet.”

“Yes, it was something I ate not to worry the day off did wonders, Mr. Stane.”

He nods slowly. “Hey, good call in taking Susan.”

“Two heads are better than one.” she quips. He clenches his jaw. “Is something the matter Mr. Stane?” Lori asks sweetly. Ignoring the fact that Stark is missing and that Susan is scared off her mind.

Then Stane grabs her wrist. “You conniving little snake, you think you have anything on me. I'll end you,” he grits his teeth.

“End me?” she says laughing under her breath. Snatching her arm away “Please do try. I just gotta say I am well prepared for anything you may throw at me from now on. So think this through. I’m the one that can end you if something happens to me. Now, I am a _ smart cookie _ as you like to say. Whatever you planned for the boss is none of my business. So I'm not against a deal. A truce if you will.” she smiles. None of her business? Loki will see to his demise.

Stane smiles too. Quick and fake. His tune sure changes on the spot. “That, you are. Fine, can't say I didn't choose the smartest one.”

She lowers her head accepting the praise.

-

She’s not stupid. Stane managed to get rid of his acclaimed ‘son' what’s to say she’s not gonna get killed too? she can be twice as smart but she’s not about to fight barehanded when there’s live steel.

When she gets home her door is open, her apartment a mess. That's putting it lightly. Her whole apartment is trashed and some of her things missing. She inhales, everything is upside down, her coffee table broken. She kneels letting go of her briefcase and grabs her lamp from the floor, the set is smashed a few feet away. She looks at it for a second

“This is my house! MINE!” In her anger, she breaks her lamp against the wall. Her house! all the things she carefully spent time choosing, carefully matched. Her laptop with her movies and her music-

If Stane thinks this is gonna scare her he’s _ so _wrong. Any evidence she had collected on him is not here. Loki isn’t stupid. She’s got bite and Stane has just warranted her ire.

Still, she calls the police.

-

A few weeks later she can finally enjoy her revenge when she sees him a mess early in the morning. 

She’s been giddy since last night when her friend gave her the call, that her friend gave the video to Collen Stane.

“Don’t forward any calls and reschedule my meetings.” he says massaging his forehead not looking at her.

She follows to his office “I’m really sorry about the divorce boss.” Lori lightly drops the coffee cup at Stane’s desk.

“What?” he says wide-eyed. His eyes are red-rimmed. His suit wrinkled. The cigarette smell clinging to his clothes is strong, she could smell it since he arrived and closer is worse.

“Yes, how long was it? Thirty years? That's a long time. Sometimes things just don't work out. Love _ fades _.” the corners of her mouth almost pull into a dark smile.

“How- _ you _sent the video to Colleen?” his voice rises, anger pools in his eyes.

“Just showing a bit of reciprocation. I’ve only got my apartment, everything I own and my career. But Mr. Stane you’ve got a wife-” she cringes in fake worry “sorry, an _ ex-wife _and-”

He breathes a sardonic laugh “you think taking my divorce is going to affect me?” his eyes wrinkle like she’s dumb.

“Ugh. _ Men _ ,” she drops sugar on the coffee. If stirring can be done mockingly she’s doing it right now. “if you let me finish my quaint monologue. She’s gonna take half of what you own. What do you love more than anything? _ money _ and _ power _. Right now, people don't trust you and the money you worked so hard on is going to her wallet, She’s what? wife number four?”

Stane backhands her. It's sudden the sharp pain that explodes on her cheek so she gasps more from the shock than the pain, wasn't expecting it. 

“You. are. playing. with. fire.” he says darkly, “You think I’ll let this go?” he looks like he wants to say something else. Admit to his wrongdoings maybe? but he’s too intelligent for that. He’s got SI now. “I’ll be done with you soon enough Lorraine.”

“You can't kill me without going down yourself.” she's sure of it.

Stane closes his mouth and she leaves. With Tony Stark out of the way, Stane should be more reckless but he’s careful. Loki wonders why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> consider leaving a comment! and thanks for reading :) imma regret this but concrit is welcome haha


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the wait I'm a bastard but FINALLY some tony interaction.

Tony Stark returns with a bang after three months of captivity.

The first time she hears about it it's from a reporter.

Someone forwards a call and Loki picks up the phone “Stark Industries, Mr. Stane’s office. How-”

“Can you speak about the rumors that Tony Stark has been found? Do you know what happened during his three-month disappearance?” 

Lori sits straight from the shock, he’s alive?

“We won't be making statements at this moment Miss?” she replies without missing a beat though inside she feels like a cracked plate, about to break at the most inconvenient moment.

From the other side she hears a soft sigh “Christine Everhart, could you write down my number? I want to hear as soon as you have a blurb for me.”

Lori takes her number. Her hands don't shake when she calls Ms. Potts and gets the news. 

_ He's here! _

After, she calls the reporter back with a very formal yet vague statement.

She calls Stane last.

“What?” his voice rings on the speaker but it isn’t shocked at the news. It's anger. “Call me a car I’ll go get him to the hospital, call a reporter too. Get some pics taken.”

“He’s not going to the hospital. He called a press conference.”

Stane freezes. “What?" his voice gets thin, wavering from his anger. "Press conference?”

There’s her answer. Stark was alive all this time and Stane  _ knew _ . It means something went wrong for Stane and now Lori is not the only thing that endangers him.

-

Tony Stark manages to piss off a lot of people at once after the press conference. 

Stane is angry about the shares dropping. About the press, about contracts.

Stark has sunken the whole company singlehandedly. 

Lori is having a field day with non-stop calls, she’s running to meetings to assure each company that profit is viable even without involving the weapons industry. The cutting edge technology they deal with cannot be compared. 80% of their revenue comes from arms dealing but they have branches with amazing stuff, medical, computer, packaging, electronic. In the last three years, Stark Industries has been the top leader in more than two continents. They grant patents at an exorbitant rate and it doesn’t hurt them because they keep advancing. 

With Stark’s new direction they can pull through and get back their capital. 

But she reassures people that Stane is trying to keep the company firm in the weapon industry if somebody can, it's him (at least that's what people believe. That's what Stane  _ wants _ them to believe) but she still remembers that Tony Stark can be corralled and maneuvered for a while before he blasts into the direction he wants. Anyone that ever had a meeting with him should know already.

  
  
  


She drolls on for days with the same commentary. Amused and annoyed (since she has to work nonstop) in equal parts. Lori pulls presentations out of her ass as quick as she can, she stays all night putting together more work than she has in the last three months altogether. Her team hates her. 

Since Tony Stark went to Afghanistan, Stane hasn’t given her any concrete orders. Likely waiting for her to quit (like a dumbass. As if she's not gonna get killed the moment she steps out) she's tired of making graphics and predictions of the data they already got. Every inter-company meeting has her talking so much she has to keep Gatorade in her coffee cup. 

Still, she’s lost count of the times she had to replace broken things from Stane’s office so at least it looks like she  _ still _ works for him. What a high strung man.

Lori finds work and makes herself needed.

Just a little more and she will be free (of Stane) she feels like a viper waiting  _ waiting _ for that perfect moment to strike. She needs just a small lead.

-

There's a plethora of bad news all around for the next weeks.

They aren't in the red but this is the first year they've done so poorly and Stark is nowhere to be found in the public. She knows well where the bastard currently resides but he's burrowed in his mansion like a mole.

She gets chewed up by Stane daily like she's in any position to fix things. Her sleep hours get reduced and everyone is scared they are going to be let go. 

-

Stane calls and berates her for twenty minutes about his coffee. Which granted the coffee is shit, instead of getting it from the usual coffee place she went to a cheaper one and served it to Stane in a paper cup she saved the day before. 

It's the little things in life that bring her joy. The vein at his brow that swells from fury is one of her best works. 

When she drops the call a firmly placed smile in place. She got chewed out but guess who drank shitty burned coffee?

Still that this is the treatment she gets irks her. The little amusement banishes and her head is speared by a dull pain. Lori massages her brow but the pain doesn't subdue.

Her nice pen flies out of her hand with a scary accuracy and stabs the lush plant by Stanes's door. It stays embedded an inch into the wall.

Stane is not the only one with anger issues.

-

The new york meeting is a disaster. Everyone is mad, the army private enterprise which makes most of the USA, big shareholders and basically, everyone hates the Stark name. 

The board of directors calls a quick meeting. Stane comes out with a smile so big she fears his face is going to split in half. 

Lori suspects Injunction but how can the board manage if Stark owns more than half of the company.

Days later, before the annual benefit gala, the email comes.

"Crap," Lori says when she finishes reading it "crap crap crap" that's not good at all.

Stark has been hiding in his Malibu house for days, which gave Stane enough time to talk shareholders into kicking him from the board (still he has more than half of the shares). Making all the meetings/presentations of the last days redundant. 

At that point, the plant has been skewered by her so many times someone started spraying the thing with bug repellent.

  
  


-

"Lorraine," the reporter says from the other side of the line. Her voice tight with fury.

"Ms. Everhart," she responds.

"Did you know what your company-" there's no need to let her continue Lori already knows where this is going from the tight fury barely restrained in the reporter’s tone.

After getting the call about the return of her boss' boss she did some searching. Ms. Everhart has no love for SI and she's very vocal about it but she's smart. Her articles are mostly on point and her views are similar to Lori's. So she knows that this is something. Something more than what Lori has.  _ Probably _ . The least is that she has a person willing to listen about the evils of the big corporation and she can get some traction going. Or if something goes wrong it wouldn't be Lori in a tight spot.

"I think," Lori says interrupting Ms. Everhart. 

"Today we should have a girl’s night out."

"What?" The reporter exclaims with shock.

"I know the owner of this new place, very nice and they have a VIP lounge area. Very dark and ...secretive" she waits.

"... Oh." Ms. Everhart says finally caught on. "Yes," then, dry. "that sounds fun" 

-

Christine comes dressed for a night out. Makeup carefully applied, smokey and perfect. She wears much like Lori a simple red dress that shows her legs well and shoes that make her stand almost at Loki's height. 

Lori decided to also dress the part and donned a little black dress with complicated straps that run intertwined on her back and black slim heels. A choice that she painfully regrets.

Lori smiles at her when she goes to open her shiny purse. Lori catches her hand and leads her inside "Let's see that inside." 

Christine makes a face at Lori but lets her lead. Once in their table, the reporter spills the pictures on the little table. The pictures do most of the talking. Still, the reporter adds  _ this is Gulmira _ . Death, destruction just desert bathed in blood. Gulmira, Loki thinks and sees little kids walking through bodies. Sees houses exposed like macabre copies of dollhouses. Rubble and lives thrown on the dirt.

Lori picks the one closest to her. She sees a Stark Industries shipment and some men moving them. She frowns but nods. "I don't have anything on this. But I know these were made." she lets the pic drop and she sits back, one slim leg crossing over the other. Christine sends her a look. "Location-wise I can't confirm anything. What I can tell you is that for the last years SI has a lot of business that doesn't get accounted properly. All direct deals. Closed-door stuff." She lets out a big exhale and tells the reporter much of her story after coming to work for Stane.

When she tried to reach Stark. Ms. Everhart's lips thin at that part but she nods as she expected that much from the man.

Loki knows that what Christine has is the half that Lori couldn't get. She has a timeline for Stane dealings but no actual evidence. And know she  _ does _ .

But

A tiny part of her thinks.  _ I could get more _ . Lori is so close to the end of the game. Wouldn't it be better if she can get Stane to fall from a steeper hill? 

Christine rests her hand over Lori's interrupting her train of thought, eyes warm. "You did what you could and I'm sorry that you had to stay put for so long." then her smile turns vicious. "As a reporter is my job to uncover the truth and if I have to jam these up Stark's eyes. Then that's what I'll do... maybe he'll show up at the firefighters family fund?" 

_ Yeah, good luck with that _ . Lori thinks. Stark is on the proverbial lam. Hiding in his mansion.

Lori gazes at her. There's fierce, dauntless force in her and a bit of chaos in Christine's eyes. She feels bad dragging her to danger. 

After a second of indecisiveness, Lori opens her bag. "I don't have anything on those. What I do have is a complex detailed account of every single deal we've made and if someone can find where something is missing…" she shrugs. 

  
  


There's a weird moment right before they leave. Christine's eyes fall on her  _ different _ . Her hand when she squeezes Loki's wrist is warm. And her eyes dark.

Loki watches her take off in her cab.  _ Hmm _ .

-

That nothing has happened to her  _ yet _ doesn't mean she's in the clear. Her house was ransacked  _ again _ (which she thought it could happen so she hasn't replaced much.) and she is being followed. She's made her comings and goings unpredictable,  _ not sure how's that gonna help since, they know where I sleep and where I work _ but it makes her feel safer,  _ proactive _ as Susan likes to say.

  
  


Loki knows Stane is out of the country (possibly, maybe) or at least not  _ here _ on Monday because Susan was almost screaming that she had the day off. And whatever mess that happened in Gulmira (and had nothing to do with the air force) after Christine showed Stark the pictures seems totally suspicious.

Still, she waits a long time to enter his house. It’s empty since Colleen left and security is not that much of a problem. She’s not working at the best tech company for nothing and one of her minions from the IT department. Jeremy or Chen (She's not sure which they both have the same weepy kind of tone) walks her through some of it on her phone. JC thinks she's getting her cat from her ex's house.

She gets in. "I'm in," she says to no one in particular but it's a thing that people say (in the movies). Waits for a sound and continues padding softly through the silent house searching for Stane's office.

Lori's flash drive finishes cloning after what feels like the scariest ten minutes of her life and she drops it inside her boot. Goes to stand when the door opens. She stops breathing.

“Lorraine, Lorraine, Lorraine.” Stane clicks his tongue. “to think that I was afraid of your information.” he steps closer and she stands.

“Stane,” she warns. Lori steps back.

He was supposed to be somewhere else. “when did you get back?”

He smirks “your friend, Susan. is such a clever girl. Reminds me of you, not as smart but I can spot a climber right away. Then again look at where you are.” one of his hands cups her jaw. She snarls.

“My dear,” he admonishes and tightens his grip. “if you had anything on me. You wouldn’t be here now, wouldn’t you? not smart at all.” his other hand stays behind his back. “I have a very busy day ahead so please, make yourself at home. You won’t be leaving anytime soon.”

She’s about to question him when his hand moves and something hard hits her in the head.

-

She wakes up grunting from the pain in her head. 

Her head throbs painfully, she moves to clasp her hand on her forehead when she realizes she’s tied to a chair. First, she's pissed, the amount of anger inside her is bigger than she can explain and her hands shake. She should have punched Stane's nose  _ in _ . Second, she sags, she’s never left Stane’s home office so she’s in front of the computer. It's the next day already according to the screen that wakes when Loki moves the mouse and Loki failed in retrieving concrete evidence on Stane.

Loki struggles against the ropes angry and frustrated. The ropes pull on her skin. Where did Stane get fucking ropes? who is he? she makes a distasteful moue.

This is bad.

Loki tries to undo the ropes and she tires, her head is killing her and she feels sleep tugging at her. If she rests, perhaps her strength- no, that’s dangerous. She can’t fall unconscious with the fantastic plow she has received.

She thinks quick and groans “well, I just need a bit of sacrifice then.” she thanks the Norns that the chair has wheels and she can slowly inch herself towards the desk.

“This is gonna hurt,” she says dry as a desert and hits her face full force against the metal desk. 

If she wasn’t screaming she would have heard the crunch of cartilage breaking. It’s of no matter because she can  _ feel it _ along with the ringing in her ears. Pain bites quick and heavy at her nose (her whole face, really.) Her nose gushes blood and it stains her teeth as she smiles. A bit of pain for a quick fix is nothing she can’t endure. She licks her blood trying to ignore the headache throbbing at her temples and breathes an old spell. 

Her hissed words surround her body like vipers. The ancient tongue echoes, she feels it in her  _ bones  _ and all the spilled blood evaporates. Loki hisses as her body fixes itself. Once it’s done she throws her head back when the endorphins hit her brain. 

Quickly with the added adrenaline, she breaks the ropes. Burning her skin a little, she can’t heal herself more than this until the rest of the payment gets doled out. Loki promised Stane’s pain and that’s what she’ll give.

She lets herself breathe for a second before an alarm goes off. Lori flinches and looks at the source only to lock onto the alert message that someone is copying files from the device at SI. 

A feed opens and she sees Virginia Potts talking with Stane. There’s no sound but she can guess what is happening from the woman’s face. This is not good.

She doesn’t have her cellphone to call a taxi and her bag is nowhere to be seen, no money except for a few coins and no cards. When she reaches to her calf she finds the bump of the clone flash drive and smiles.

She cleans her face quick and raids Stane's bedroom for something to wear, she finds a white Stark Industries T-shirt and finds it massive on her slim frame. It’ll do, beats walking around like a slasher victim in any case. As when she goes to drop her dirty sweater she sees a familiar paper.

“This is an SI form.” she tilts her head. She's used some for presentations, an employee always needs this to get access to any prototype. Lori reads the form, frown forming. It’s a request for a study of a prototype that was archived. 

Only high-level clearance gets this kind of access to the more dangerous stuff.

Loki searches the SI metal briefcase that comes with most of the prototypes and finds it under the bed after three hours of turning every nook and cranny upside down. She opens the case and the Short term paralysis prototype is missing alongside a pair of vibration canceling earphones. She grabs the case and runs out of the house.

-

Loki takes too long to make it to Mr. Stark’s house. She called Jeremy (she thinks) from a payphone to get the flash drive and get it to Christine. She had to wait for him and then maybe stole his car.

  
  


"Miss Keystone!" Loki squints- Chen... says. When he lays eyes on her.

"Did your boyfr-"

"I need you to get this to someone stat." She gives him the drive and a sticky note with the address. She takes his car keys "I will get your car back or you can pick it from Stark's house" and sits inside the green Subaru "NOW!" she yells when he doesn't move. He runs to hail a cab and she starts the car.

She doesn't have a phone.

She doesn't have time.

She steps on the pedal and floors it to the mansion.

-

At the door, she finds it ajar so she makes her way silently to find Stane speaking to Mr. Stark.

“-think just because you have an idea, it belongs to you?” Stane says. He’s holding something to Stark’s chest who already looks half dead, definitely the STP. Stane says something else that she can’t hear because she activates the canceling earphones, Stane moves. Loki swings the case with all her strength hitting him square in the head. He falls on top of Stark.

There’s silence and then

“I wanted to do that, for a long time.” She says sighing, looks at the man lying on the couch “Mr. Stark are you okay?” she drops the case. The man looks at her and he doesn’t move, doesn’t say anything.  _ Right, the STP _ .

“Here, I found this at his house.” she takes the earphones and calibrates them for the anti-paralysis protocol and plugs them to Stark’s ears.

Stark gasps, the color returns to his skin and then he continues big eyes trained on her “I don’t know if you are a ghost or the manifestation of my lack of oxygen but- help me, ghost!" he wheezes.

“Right,” she says ignoring most of what he said. She pockets the STP and moves Stane off of Stark dropping him on the floor with a thud. 

“ah, I need the arc reactor.” the man rasps eyeing Stane.

“This?” she says afraid of touching the luminescent object on the couch.

“yeah, are your hands small? I need you to put it back in its place.”

Lori grabs the arc reactor with care and makes a panicked face. Her hands are not that small.

Stark smiles at her face “it’s easy” he motions to her to hurry. “just connect it to the base plate it’s” Loki connects it. The arc reactor makes a click and it locks in place. “yeah.” she touches the skin surrounding de reactor and Stark hisses.

“Sorry.”

“Your hands are chilling,” Stark says with a smile. “Get it? ’cause you’re a ghost!” he pinches the big white shirt she’s swimming in.

She ignores him and pulls the shirt from his grip. She’ll blame the lack of oxygen.

“We should definitely call the police right now-”

“you know Ghost you are brilliant, Have I said it before?”

“My name is Lorraine. Mr. Stark.” She smiles “I’m Mr. Stane’s assistant.”

“No shit!”

“Yeah, let me help you up.” once she clasps her hand on his forearm and helps him up they turn, she's glad it's over  _ finally _ . She breathes relieved. Christine should’ve already gotten the flash drive and- oh she forgot to tell Chen to tell her to find Ms. Potts.

Something clicks behind her. 

_ No _ , she thinks freezing, legs locked in place her blood turns cold as she feels something hard pressing on her back.

  
  


Stark looks at her his face sobers up quick. The small smile from seconds ago replaced by worry. She lets go of him. 

He takes some steps away. Hands held up. Placating. “Obbie-”

“You and Lorraine have been a thorn in my side for too long.”

Lori can't speak, her tongue feels heavy and she’s for the first time scared. _ So this is it?  _ Suddenly mortality rears its ugly head. 

All her dangerous games led to this. If she wasn't so scared she’d laugh.

She looks at Stark and sees fear reflected in his eyes. Fear, hurt, the kind of betrayal she saw often reflected in her father's eyes.

She let Stane ruin Stark’s life for excitement. She let him hurt him. She closes her eyes and tears fall hotly on her cheeks. She’s going to die without her magic without seeing Thor for the last time. Even now she misses Jesse.

it’s not  _ unfair _ a small part of her thinks. 

She always does this. It just caught up with her for once. Retribution for her actions.

Stark is talking “-do this. What could lead you to-” 

“Let's cut to the chase. You want her to live? Give me the reactor.” Obadiah says sharply.

Loki drops her head. Nobody in their right mind would even think-

Stark is silent for a second and he laughs, there’s a manic twist to his curved lips and his eyes shine. “I don’t even know who you are Obbie.”

“give me the reactor or she dies, simple as that.”

Loki’s tears fall. It feels like all her tricks, all her lies were never enough and all the smiles she vindictively felt were stories she made up to feel better. Where is the happiness in being shunned, in being ignored and hated? 

_ This can’t be _ , she pleads because. It can’t. _ I couldn't fit in. I couldn’t be loved _ or if she was loved she didn’t feel it  _ enough _ . Why is it never enough for her to just accept what others give her. Why couldn't she just take Thor’s hand and stay quiet and safe in the dark of his towering figure? She has never felt more alone than in this treacherous world where she was a stranger in every way. In this cold and unfeeling body that she changed thinking that perhaps that could help, it’s Loki is just Loki  _ and she should- maybe she should just- _

Something metallic clicks and she raises her head looking directly at Stark.

His hand trembles as he takes the arc reactor out, pulling with a defiant look, head held high.

Her eyes widen in surprise, Stark is laying down his life for hers, her mouth opens to perhaps stop him to do anything but she can’t speak from the shock. She’s unworthy unworthy unworthy-

_ undeserving _ and  _ betrayer  _ always.

She looks uncomprehending at Stark. Ignoring Stane behind her. Loki’s eyes catch on the empty casing of the reactor in Stark’s sternum and she looks at his eyes. His jaw is set.

Stark takes his reactor and throws it to Stane.

Stane moves his arm and catches the reactor. He pushes with the hand holding the gun which bites into her back until she drops like a puppet into Stark’s waiting arms. She holds his clothes in a tight grip. Shaking. 

Stane is not going to let them go. He has everything he wants.

“you are so selfish,” Stane says looking at the reactor like it’s a gem. Loki ignores him. Thankful that her hand is hidden from both men in the room and uses it to channel a spell, it’ll take a few seconds but she gestures with her hand. Loki’s fingers move fast and graceful drawing runes in the air with her slim fingers. Breathes relieved when the power finally grows.

“The weapons I will make with this,” Stane says fondly “I wish you could see it. Too bad nobody here is a visionary,”

he raises the gun again.

“wait-” she hears by her ear.

He shoots twice impacting on Loki’s back. She falls from the force heavily onto Stark drawing him with her to the floor

“Now, where is Pepper?” Stane wonders with a sarcastic tone. Stark’s eyes search hers and she wills him to stay quiet and let Stane leave.  _ Do not fall to his trap _ her eyes pleading.

Loki looks at the pale man struggling to draw breath on the floor and swears _ I will protect you, I will be the shadow that swallows your fears _ . If Stark is willing to be Loki’s protector then she will be the strength he needs. Stark gave up his own metallic heart for her life and something like that she won’t take lightly. Stark has her allegiance.

If they can make it alive.

Once Stane's footsteps fade Loki exhales and she hisses, “Give me your phone, we need to call an ambulance. How long can you go without the reactor?”

Stark looks down at the side of her chest, “you're bleeding.”

“I'm okay,” she says “Stark, a phone.”

“I think I have a spare. In the lab,” he grunts. "Downstairs"

Loki breathes. It hurts but it’s only on her side. She managed to craft a shield, incomplete so the bullets shattered it on the second impact but at least the bullet only grazed her. 

He looks sweaty, generally  _ not good _ and she considers letting him rest but he panics and grabs her.

Loki drags Stark with her to the lab, it’s a mess and she wonders if there was a fight here. Once she sits Stark on the floor she searches for the phone.

Something moves and she almost kicks a clawlike machine that whirs behind her. Since it doesn't do much but move she goes back looking for the phone.

Something shatters where she left Stark and she almost drops the line.

“What are you doing?!” she screams. There's broken glass all over and blood, her blood.

“The spare, help me put it back.” He wheezes.

There's an arc reactor blinking quietly at her in the mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, don't know if you got some of the christine/lori vibes but they attacked me and the tags are gonna change for the next chapter. gonna be something small don't worry, Christine just hit me and i HAD to let her have something good. 
> 
> also since Lori would be a second character from the tony perspective she doesn't see much of the fight and I liked how tony and pepper interact. I think she's a big part of his life and I'll address that but it's frostiron all the way


	4. Chapter 4

Before flying away Stark presses a medkit into her hands, she makes a face, eyebrows scrunched. Loki then blinks absorbing the situation, then looks incredulous to the kit in his hand and swallows the equally disbelieving _what_? 

"Sorry, but I _have_ to go" he says, brown eyes glassy and wide. Loki closes her mouth.  
She remembers that same hand holding out his reactor and she bites her instant scalding reaction. He looks a lot better than before but she thinks he might have had the beginnings of a coronary or something worse. She looks at the light from the _reactor_ in his chest and nods trusting that he knows what he’s doing.  
He stands in place and he opens his mouth to continue but she doesn’t let him.

"Go get her." she replies and takes the medkit with a sincere smile thinking back on being at Stane’s house. Stark squeezes her shoulder.

"Thank you."

She watches him don his armor and as he launches she starts to really feel the blow from the bullets.

She lifts the shirt and contorts her body trying to clean the wound. That second bullet impacted with less force but it broke the skin and she's starting to bloom a full set of bruises along her back. The disinfectant stings and thankfully there's numbing cream. The wound stops bleeding so at least she has that going for her.

She puts her clean hand over the wound. She closes her eyes and tries to feel the world around her. She can't do much she's low on energy. Lori sighs, her shoulders slump and her back gives a painful twinge. 

Then she straightens her back with a wry expression.

She's got stuff to do.

-

"Christine." Lori says out of breath, clutching the phone. She had to wrap herself after suspecting one of her ribs might be too sore to not be somewhat bruised. The hospital will have to come later.

"Lorraine. Oh my god! are you okay? I called you a thousand times and then some intern guy gave me a drive and told me you were hurt."

"Did you open it?"

"Yes, we already have the basic idea of it. I can't believe-" _yeah, well_. Lori thinks. 

"I have more." She gives a rundown of the situation at Stane's house and hears the oohs and aahs with a small smile now that it's done. The bite in Christine’s tone at her treatment in the hands of Obadiah. She's somewhat frazzled so she gingerly rubs the back of her neck. Lori eyes the lab table indecisively for a second but when her legs attempt to give up on her she drops the stuff on the floor with a careful slide of her arm and sits on the table. 

When she gets to the part of the gun her hands shake. She's not scared of a fight. Or- she wasn't _before_. She knows how to fight but a lot of her fighting involved god strength and magic and now she's- she doesn't have...

She's left with human magic, _witchery_. Her only access to magic is _borrowed_. Which involves sacrifice, a form of exchange or asking a god for favor and she isn’t about to lower herself even lower still. Yet looking at the situation she might have to.

Loki is the one people kneeled for.

She's weak and mortal- has been for a long time. Loki is realizing that maybe she has been too comfortable in her coddled life.   
Her hands flex, pulling the skin of her battered knuckles tight. She feels dearly the tiny scraps along her body, the pain that before she could shoulder. Wounds that in a matter of seconds left. She can barely lift her body weight at the gym. Her life could end so easily.

If it wasn't for Stark... 

_No_, she thinks deftly ignoring that line of thinking. 

She's fine with the fight, the blood, violence is in her veins but the fact that she could easily die at any point? guns are faster than any knife any spell.

She's been looking into some kind of training for her body and now that she can clearly see the danger she could be in Loki has to start-

“Lorraine?” Christine speaks and her attention returns to her. There's no point in contemplating about it all she has to do is _keep going_.

Lorraine tells Christine the end of her story and omits the part where Stark got into a suit leaving her at his house so he could chase Stane. Worried at her former boss’ last words she asks "Do you know if Ms. Potts is okay? Can you call her?" Lori feels 200% not into calling anyone else right now.

"Okay," Christine dubiously responds from the other side of the line after making sure Lori herself is safe. Trying to let the story sink in her mind Lori guesses. "I'll give her a call." her voices drifts and she changes the subject "But listen we are running the story tomorrow. So there's that. If Stane is on the run the police can find him."

"Yeah." Lorraine says tiredly. Glad _that_ it’s done. 

Glass crunches and Lori turns, wrench in hand -(she guesses she can concuss anyone at several feet away- she's got great aim still.) her body aches something fierce but she refrains from whimpering in pain. A man in an air force or what she thinks is an air force outfit points a gun at her and she raises her hands immediately, wrench falling with a booming clank.

Lori immediately feels the disbelief at herself for dropping her weapon but hides it behind a mask of indifference. 

She doesn't say anything because, well, this is the second time a gun is pointed at her. And she doesn’t have an angle with this newcomer.

"Where's Tony?" the man demands in a cold tone.

From her phone which she still holds, Lori realizes. She hears Christine calling her name.

Lori reassesses him, he might be Mr. Rhodes. Stark’s public friend. 

She almost acquiesces at him mockingly as she now has a move. Her finger moves subtly to block the speaker in her phone and replies jokingly with her arms raised "Ah... would you believe-” her eyebrows frown as if she can’t believe what she witnessed. “me if I said he got into a metal suit and flew away?"

The man makes a face and she eyes every micro-expression intensely until he loosens his shoulders "yeah." a deep sigh "It's Tony." he drops his aim and she finally breathes. That's an I-know-Stark face™ if she ever saw one.

He drives away in a hurry after confirming her story.

-

She stands in the driveway looking at the tire tracks on the asphalt. "Really!?"  
Lori drives Chen’s car back and goes to the hospital finally.

-

The story runs first on Christine's network (Lori hears it from her place at the E.R) and after that, the story breaks like a disease every channel talks about it. The police and a PR person from SI give a conference notifying that Stane went missing and to confirm the investigation, it's the scandal of the decade. 

Once at home she watches Stark make the press conference revealing himself to be ‘Iron man’. If the press was wild before, what occurs for the following days is a categorical _frenzy_.

  
Lorraine watches it all sprawled on her grey comfy new sofa while eating baby carrots deciding what to do with her life while her human body recuperates.

She has a few gyms courses open in her laptop that look interesting and she needs modern weapons training. Thanks to the internet she has lots of knowledge to pour-over. It's a shame she spent most of her first years on mundane skills but at the time it didn't seem necessary Mid- _Earth_ is at a point where fighting is not the focus to everyday life so she went through a better option, anyway fighting all the time is too unbecoming for her completion.

Loki always preferred the arts and good wine. 

With her own previous experience, she could defend herself against normal people fairly well. That’s not the issue. _Still_, she liked fighting, a good fight not just throwing a hammer around and calling it done. Skill, moving with your opponent’s decisions tallying in your head thinking every step four moves ahead. She smiles crunching on her carrot _that_, she loved.

  
Guns, her mouth twists. _Ugly_ little things. Devastating in their simplicity. As blundering as a hammer, the same principle really. How can you call fighting to that? Anyone with some aim can fell another like that. Where is the dancing? the drama? the exhilaration at knowing a wrong move will leave you open?

She munches on her carrots and decides on the mixed martial art one the parkour for fun and leaves the gun training for a later date. She pays with her credit card, Lori's bank account is the last thing from modest. Still, all the free time she's got makes her feel restless.

The whole 'Stane' branch of the company got shut down and investigated.

Before her forced vacation (and paid hospitalization) she had to give a statement with Stark, his secretary and a man she doubts was a detective (much less from the police)

-

  
She's sitting facing Stark, Ms. Potts and a man called Coulson in Stark's office (she didn't know he still had one)

  
“I- suspected something might be wrong some months ago," she stops, looking down. She looks especially bad when she has to move her torso and she doesn’t hide her wincing, although she isn’t the only one wounded. Stark has skin-colored band-aids and Miss Pots favored her left leg before the meeting. "So I went looking for any clues I could find. It wasn't anything concrete but I had dates of meetings that weren't scheduled. Sells that I didn't see approved.” she looks up. Ms. Potts looks at her with anger.

“If you knew. Why didn't you say so?” her tone accusatory.

Lori stammers and she almost cringes at her act, she turns it to more believable anger “I tried!” she points at Stark “I tried to tell him, it would be suspicious of me if I approached him at work. If he was at work even! I assumed Stane had me watched- which he did. He had someone following me, in the end, they weren't hiding at all. My house got ransacked _TWICE_!" she hits the crystal desk with a closed fist putting all her frustration from her broken furniture. Only Stark and Potts jump. Her sharp eyes quickly land on the man on the left. She closes her eyes and breathes in trying to look calm. 

"So I attended one of Mr. Stark’s parties. I told him that it was important and that something was wrong I even gave him papers. But I couldn't be specific. My house was broken into Stane knew I had something. He told me I was his scapegoat and since Mr. Stark never did anything about it I thought he didn't believe me. Or that he was in on it. Which was far more dangerous." she shrugs. "I stopped that and just archived everything I could."

“I remember her.” Stark adds heavily “White slip dress, weird necklace, she looked desperate. But then everyone is when they come asking for money." he folds his glasses and slides them in his breast pocket "That's what I thought.” Stark stays quiet for a long time while Potts looks at him eyebrows furrowed. He laughs under his breath shame clear in his face. “Her folder must be somewhere in the house still. I can't.” he turns away in his chair.

It’s awful what she’s doing right now. A well-calculated risk she took months previous, a very well placed alibi. Nobody needs to be a genius to know Stark forgets people, he just doesn’t see them. Every time Lorraine has spoken to him or been in front of him, Stark has never seen her face. Stark remembers personality and Lorraine has been careful to never pick his interest before. 

“I was so scared, after. When he went missing" she lies to Mr. Coulson. He's been pleasantly smiling since the beginning. Quiet. No cop does that.

Her hands point to Stark "He made someone disappear" she lays her hands on her lap head down "and he threatened me. I didn't know what to do. But I knew that I still had to get my hands on anything I could,” lift your head, Lorraine, the bright shine of hope has entered your story she thinks. Tries not to smile “then I remembered Ms. Everhart.” Ms. Potts takes a step back, her heels click in the silence. A smile lifts Lorraine’s tone

"When she called me, I knew I had to move."

-

  
Loki had her tracks covered very well. That man Coulson gave her a look, a very ‘I’ll be watching you, miss’ look but Ms. Potts and Stark ate her words right up. 

And she walked scot-free.

It didn’t feel that great.

-

There wasn't a trial since Stane had gone missing, all evidence was determined. She was called along with several witnesses. Lorraine testified and presented her mountain of evidence from the last few months of her life. 

She’s got her social media to validate any involvement with Stane on his plans. Friends have entire conversations on their phones. She has the police phone call (though 911 provided the recording, not her.) when her apartment got broken into TWICE.   
And if that wasn't enough Christine testifies that it was _her_ that gave the press the information on Stane. Lori almost gets a misdemeanor for breaking and entering but since it was on special circumstances and not forgetting that she was kidnapped and that Stane wanted to murder her and Stark...

Even if she admitted to Stane that she gave the video to his ex-wife. It wasn't so, digitally. 

Smooth edges.

-

Stark stops her on her way out.  
“Hey, I’m really sorry about _everything_.” he motions with his hand. She likes his face, his eyes are so expressive she thinks. Two big pools of sorrow, dark and shiny. “I was a dick and it resulted in a big mess. If I hadn't-” he stops trying to find the words.

Loki played the game with all the pieces she could. It was on her that Stark got hurt since she knew he wasn't ever going to look into the files. It was her and Stane playing against each other that messed up so many lives. Mostly Stane.

She brings her hands out of her pants pockets and grabs the hand Stark is using to massage his forehead. “I’m sorry too. I could have done more. I should have.” she squeezes softly.

Stark looks up at her startled at the touch but he doesn’t let go. He tilts his head considering. “Hey, this is gonna sound weird but Do you wanna be my assistant? Pep is busy with the company and I think I’ve got a project on the _side._” Stark smirks winking at her and then the light comes back to his eyes. His hand tightens on her own.

  
-

"So, working for Stark?" Christine makes dubious eyes at her.

Lori turns on her back, taking her time fixing the pillow then looking at the blonde. She doesn’t roll her eyes but it’s a near thing. Christine’s hate for anything Stark hasn’t abated in the least but she at least hasn’t made any weird comment until now evidently.   
“weird topic for pillow talk especially with you. Yes, _crazy_ but I know the company and he's not Stane. I thought to give it a chance. I’m the new Potts apparently.” as the media dubbed her. It didn’t bother Lori one bit and Stark laughed.

Christine looks away. “are you?”

“hmm?”

“the new Potts?”

Lori focuses on the blonde. The way she wriggles her hands and can’t look at her for the answer, then she smiles “me?” she laughs “they are so” she stretches the last syllable jokingly “gonna marry. Believe me, she’s still _the_ Potts. He made her the Big boss.”  
  
They have been circling each other as of late and when the reporter kissed her Lori didn’t want to turn away. She sees the way Christine considers her and sometimes stares too long. Lori tilts her face to look back at her “ready for round two?” she smirks and it feels nice.

For now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I know I said only one chapter with the loki/christine thing but hear me out lol next chapter is the last chapter of that I promise haha. I had this chapter 90% done and didn't feel some parts but I like it now.
> 
> next chapters we will get some frostiron FINALLY I know I kinda going with a more funny Loki. Since everyone pretty much forgets that side and I just want Loki to be able to embrace that childish fun I want them, friends, first and Tony is going to be with Pepper for a little while, don't know how into that I'll go but POSSIBLY in the next work of these series (hopefully?) we'll get a Tony POV.
> 
> Be safe everyone! wash your hands and take care in these quarantine times.

**Author's Note:**

> this was sitting in my drive for a year and i meant to write something else today but read it again and was like I NEED THIS.  
QUICK TO THE BATWRITING CAVE!
> 
> I'm sure some parts are kinda confusing but Loki thinks of himself as male for most of the beginning so he refers to himself like that while others see him as Lori.
> 
> Later this is not gonna be the case


End file.
